


This Must Be the Place

by FrankenSpine



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Biphobia, Bisexuality, Bittersweet Ending, Body Modification, F/F, F/M, Forgiveness, Homophobia, Homosexuality, M/M, Piercings, Post-Prison, Redemption, Regret, Sad, Starting Over, Tattoos, Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:20:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23165362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrankenSpine/pseuds/FrankenSpine
Summary: Having spent seven years in prison, Emma Swan has nowhere else to go, so she returns to her hometown to try and make amends. She isn't exactly welcome, but there are still those willing to give her a second chance. She vows to do whatever it takes to prove she's a better person. Unfortunately, things don't always go as planned.
Relationships: Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Pinocchio | August Booth, Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan, Prince Charming | David Nolan/Snow White | Mary Margaret Blanchard
Comments: 6
Kudos: 39





	1. Making Amends

**Author's Note:**

> This is a bittersweet story with a bittersweet ending, so if that's not your cup of tea, then I probably wouldn't recommend reading. 
> 
> P.S: the title comes from the song of the same name by Talking Heads.

Emma stood silently at the doorstep of her childhood home, wondering just how this was going to go. She hadn’t bothered calling her parents, since they hadn’t bothered to call her for the last seven years. With a slow, deep breath, she brought her gloved fist up to knock on the door, but froze. What if they didn’t live here anymore? What if they’d sold the place and moved off? She managed to muster up enough of a backbone (a simple task, really, seeing how she’d had more than enough time to work on that), and knocked on the door.

She heard shuffling inside. The footsteps were growing closer to the door, though it was hard to hear with her heart pounding like thunder. It seemed like an eternity before anyone actually answered it, but finally, the door opened, and Emma found herself face to face with the woman who had once been her mother.

This woman was noticeably older, with wisps of silver in her dark hair, which was now down to her shoulders. There were wrinkles beneath and around her eyes. They were just as blue, just as striking, and just as cold. Her lips were downturned in a frown, though the rest of her face appeared indifferent.

“What are _you_ doing here?” she asked bitterly.

Not a hello. Not a ‘how are you?’ Not even a gleam of curiosity. Just barely-contained rage.

“I—”

_“Honey? Who’s that at the door?”_

It was the voice of the man Emma had once called her father. Perhaps he did not share his wife’s resentment for his only child. Before the woman could respond, the man appeared behind her and locked eyes with Emma. He seemed shocked, but only for a second, before his expression became one of anger.

“Get out of here,” he said firmly, pointing towards the street.

“Dad, please—”

_“Go. You’ve got a lot of nerve showing up here.”_

There was so much Emma could have said, but she knew it would just fall upon deaf ears, and so she turned away without a word and headed back towards the sidewalk. The woman who had brought her in this world wished she had never been born. Sometimes she felt the same way. Like now, for instance. _Especially_ right now. She wanted to hate them. She wanted to scream in their faces. She wanted to tell them what horrible human beings they were. But she didn’t. She couldn’t. She knew that wouldn’t be fair. Had she been in their shoes, she probably would have turned her away, too.

“What were you _thinking,_ Swan?” she muttered.

She grabbed her duffel bag from the sidewalk where she’d left it. Normally she would never leave her things lying out in the open (another lesson learned over the years), but there was nothing of any real value in her bag. Just a cheap flip phone, a charger, and some old clothes she had bought at a thrift store for a few bucks.

Knowing her own family wanted nothing to do with her, Emma decided to pay her old friend Ruby a visit. Hopefully things would be different this time around. Ruby’s place wasn’t far. Just a few blocks away. Emma trudged her way there, eventually making it up the old wooden steps to the second floor. She wasn’t really concerned about whether or not Ruby still lived there. She would worry about it if and when she needed to. She rang the doorbell and let out a heavy sigh. It was ten seconds before someone came to the door.

Lo and behold, it was none other than Ruby Lucas. Her deep brown hair was streaked with red, and she was dressed in a black tank top with matching pants. She was stunned to see Emma there, but did not appear the least bit angry. She just blinked in genuine surprise.

“Emma? Is that really you?”

Emma offered a halfhearted smile. “Yeah. It’s really me.”

“You wanna come in? I just had a pizza delivered if you want some. It’s pepperoni with mushroom.”

Emma’s stomach roared, and this time, her smile was genuine. “I’d like that.”

* * *

“You look amazing, Emma,” Ruby told her, “I love your tattoos. I just have to ask, when did you become a—”

She was cut off as the phone began to ring, and offered an apologetic look as she went to answer it.

“Hello? Oh, hey. What’s up? Yeah, I know. She’s here right now. Hell yeah, come on over. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind. Okay. See ya soon.”

She hung up and turned to Emma with a smile. “Ashley’s coming by. I hope that’s okay.”

“You mean Ashley Boyd?”

“Yeah. She and Sean had a baby last year.”

Emma’s face fell a little, which Ruby picked up on immediately.

“Oh God, Emma, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

Emma just waved a dismissive hand. “Don’t worry about it. It’s been seven years. I’m sure he’s found a good home, wherever he is.”

“I take it you’ve already been by your parents’ place?”

Emma sighed. “Something like that.”

“You can crash here, you know, for as long as you need.”

“You’re a godsend, Ruby.”

Ruby smiled. “Just helping out a friend.”

“I mean it. My own parents won’t even accept me as their daughter anymore. I wasn’t sure if you’d want anything to do with me after what I did.”

“You made a mistake, Emma, and you’ve already paid for it. You shouldn’t have to keep paying. I’m here for you, no matter what. I’ll help you look for a job. What are you good at?”

“Not much. I gave a few people tattoos.”

“Gang tattoos?”

“It was a job. They gave me commissary as payment.”

“Well, maybe you should try doing _legal_ tattoos— with sterile needles. You remember Killian Jones?”

“How could I possibly forget?”

“He owns the tattoo parlor on Jewel Street.”

“People around here get tattoos?”

Ruby smiled. “Only where no one can see them.”

“You have one, don’t you?”

“Three, actually,” Ruby said proudly, “Now I feel like getting more. Oh, and I’m seriously digging the gauges.”

“Thanks.”

“How big are you planning to go?”

“Probably up to zero, but who knows? Maybe I’ll go even further.”

There was a knock at the door, and Ruby went to answer it. There stood Ashley, looking as radiant as Emma remembered.

“Hey, Ashley,” Ruby greeted, “Come on in.”

Ashely thanked Ruby as she stepped inside and smiled at Emma. “Hi, Emma. It’s good to see you again.”

“You too,” said Emma.

“Oh, I love your tattoos!” said Ashley, “Sean would totally _freak_ if I got any.”

Ruby placed a hand on her shoulder. “It’s your body, girl. You do you.”

Ashley seemed reluctant. “I honestly don’t know if I could handle it. I hate needles.”

“It’s not as bad as people make it out to be,” Emma told her.

“I was just telling Emma about Killian’s place. We should all go and get matching tattoos!”

Ashley was visibly uncertain. “Like what?”

“Rock, paper, scissors?” Ruby suggested.

Emma laughed. “That’s cute, Ruby.”

“I don’t know,” said Ashley, “It’s a nice idea, but I still don’t think I could actually go through with it.”

Emma stood up and pulled on her jacket as she made her way to the door. “I hate to bail so soon, but I need to go and see Killian.”

Ruby hugged her tightly. “Good luck, Emma.”

“Thanks. I really think I’m gonna need it.”

* * *

Emma stood outside the tattoo parlor with uncertainty. The sign above the door read _Hooked on Ink_ in elegant cursive. With a deep breath, she opened the door and walked inside.

“Hi there,” came a mild Irish accent, “What can I do for— _Emma?”_

Emma smiled awkwardly as she locked eyes with Killian. “Hi,” she said with a small wave.

Killian approached her with an ecstatic grin. “I never thought I’d see you again. How are you?”

“Well, I got out of prison two months ago, and I’ve been couch-surfing, but I figured it was time to come home. It looks like I’ll be staying at Ruby’s for a while. My folks have disowned me.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Killian said sincerely, “On the bright side, you look fantastic. Most of these tattoos look fresh. Where’d you get them?”

“A bunch of places in Boston, mostly. I got a couple in the slammer.”

“And what about the one on your chest?”

“It’s the first one I got once I was out. I hope it’s not too pretentious.”

“Not at all. I quite like it, actually. I’ve got one of my own.” Killian held up his left hand, showing off his tattoo.

_“Killian, I’m about to head out.”_

A man in a leather jacket stepped out of the room in the back. He had pale eyes and a soft smile, which widened when he saw Emma.

“Hello,” he greeted.

“Hey.”

“Emma, this is August,” said Killian, “August, Emma. We were friends in school.”

“Oh. It’s nice to meet you, Emma.”

Emma nodded. “Likewise.”

August placed a hand on Killian’s shoulder. “You want me to pick something up from Granny’s?”

Killian smiled. “Sounds good.”

“The usual?”

“Of course.”

They shared a brief kiss and August left with a skip in his step.

“I didn’t know you were into guys,” said Emma.

“Do you have a problem with that or something?”

“What? No! I just remember you being a huge womanizer—”

Killian laughed. “Emma, relax. I was only joking. You’re right, I do like women— but I _love_ August. He’s a journalist, you know. He likes taking pictures of old towns like this and writing articles about everyday people. Perhaps he could write one about you.”

“I don’t know, Killian. I don’t think anyone would care.”

“Well, if you change your mind, just let me know.”

“Okay, um, I guess since I’m here, I should just get this out of the way. I was wondering if I could maybe, you know, _work here.”_

“You want an apprenticeship?”

“I mean, I was thinking I could do bookkeeping, or maybe just sweep the floor or something. I don’t think giving people prison tattoos is the kind of experience you’re looking for.”

Killian scratched his head. “Well, it’s not what I would call ‘ideal,’” he said, starting to smile, “but I’m more than willing to make an exception for a friend. When can you start?”

“Anytime. I literally have nothing else going on, so I’m free to do whatever.”

“Come by tomorrow at eleven. I’d like you to show me your skills as an artist.”

“Okay. Sounds like a plan.”

“There’s just one other thing you should know,” said Killian.

* * *

Once again, Emma found herself standing at somebody’s door. It took everything she had in her to knock. She was sweating bullets. Her heart felt like it was about to explode. After what seemed like an eternity, the door opened and she was left staring into a familiar pair of deep brown eyes.

_“E-Emma?”_

Emma swallowed. “Regina,” she uttered, “It’s been a while.”

Before she could even think to dodge, Emma felt a harsh sting on her cheek.

“I probably deserved that.”

“You’re damn right you did!” Regina hissed, “Why the hell didn’t you write me? Did you not get _any_ of my letters?”

“I did,” Emma said quietly, “I just couldn’t think of anything to say. There’s not much that goes on in prison that you’d want to know about.”

“You could have at least said something! I thought something horrible might have happened to you!”

“Well, I did get stabbed once.”

_“What?!”_

Emma shook her head. “It’s not really a big deal. It was a long time ago.” She sighed. “Can we, I don’t know, talk somewhere more private?”

Regina seemed reluctant, almost terrified, but she gave a slow nod. “Alright,” she said softly, “but there’s something I need to tell you.”

“I already know.”

“You— You _do?_ Did your parents tell you?”

“No. They won’t talk to me. I heard it from Killian.”

Regina huffed. “Of course you did. Why didn’t you come to me first?”

“Because I thought I’d be the last person you wanted to see.”

A conflicted look fell over Regina’s face. “No. I really missed you, Emma. I think it’s time you met him.”

Emma swallowed. “Does he know?”

“Yes.”

“Oh God. What have you told him about me?”

“All good things.”

“How did you even know about him?”

“I heard it from your parents. They didn’t want to take care of another child, so they turned to me.”

“They did?”

“Yes. I was surprised, since they didn’t exactly approve of me, but I accepted in a heartbeat.”

Just then, a young boy— not a day over seven— appeared in the doorway next to Regina. He stared up at Emma in pure wonder.

_“Mommy?”_

Emma stared at him with tears welling in her eyes. She wanted to say something, but no words ever came. What was she supposed to say to that? She wasn’t his mother. She hadn’t raised him.

Regina offered a sympathetic look before turning to the boy. “Henry,” she said quietly, “why don’t you go play for a bit? I need to talk to your mommy.”

“Okay.” Henry waved to Emma before hurrying into the living room.

Regina smiled awkwardly. “How would you like a glass of the best apple cider you’ve ever tasted?”

“Got anything stronger?”

* * *

Regina was frowning. “You’re serious?”

“I’m sorry, Regina, but I can’t have him calling me ‘Mommy.’ I’ve lived with the guilt for seven years. This makes it so much worse. Maybe someday it’ll be different, but not now. Definitely not now.”

“So what is he supposed to call you?”

 _“Emma._ What else?”

“Doesn’t that seem inappropriate?”

“No. I’m not the one who raised him. You are. You’re his mother.”

“Are you saying you want nothing to do with him?”

Emma pinched the bridge of her nose. “Regina, _Jesus Christ._ I never said that.”

“But isn’t that _exactly_ what you meant?”

“No!” Emma snapped, “I just don’t want him thinking I’m his mom.”

“But you _are,_ Emma.”

“All I did was give birth to him. You did the rest.”

Regina sighed. “I can see I’m getting nowhere with you, so I suppose now’s the time to address the other elephant in the room.” She took a slow sip of her drink and stared deep into Emma’s eyes. “What the hell have you done to yourself? Look at you! You’re covered in tattoos!”

“So what?”

“The Emma I knew would never have done that! One or two, maybe, but never _this!”_

Emma frowned. “Because I’m not the Emma you knew. I spent seven years behind bars, Regina. Did you honestly expect me to be the same?”

Regina shook her head in disbelief. “When did you even have time to do this?”

“I got most of them when I was with Neal.”

“And what about that— that _filth_ on your chest? Are you a Devil-worshipper like Killian?”

Emma scoffed. “I can’t speak for him, but I can tell you with certainty that I don’t believe in the Devil.”

“Then why—”

“Let me finish.” Emma pointed to the inverted pentagram on her chest. “I see Satan as a symbol of rebellion— of freedom. I’m my own God. Now that I’m out of prison, I don’t have to follow anybody’s rules but my own. I can do whatever the hell I want, whenever I want. I’m done putting up with people’s bullshit. I want to do what makes me happy. I just wish I knew what that was.”

Regina was stunned. “So, what, you’re emo, then? Or are you just trying to be edgy?”

Emma’s frown deepened and she stood up abruptly. “Forget it, Regina. I’m really beginning to wish I’d never come back here. You wanna know the truth? I didn’t come back just to try and make amends with my parents. I knew that ship had sailed seven years ago. What I really wanted was to see _you,_ but now I’ve realized that was just another huge mistake.”

She stormed out of the mansion as Regina chased after her, calling her name in desperation, but Emma kept walking until she disappeared into the night. When she arrived at Ruby’s apartment, she found the brunette on the couch with Ashley, watching some tattoo-related show.

“Hey,” Emma said halfheartedly.

“Oh, hey, Emma,” said Ruby, “We’ve been getting blazed and watching _Ink Master._ I think I’ve almost convinced Ashley to get inked. You wanna smoke?”

Emma let out a sigh of relief. “After the day I’ve had, I think that’s _exactly_ what I need.”


	2. The Interview

Emma arrived at the tattoo parlor exactly fifteen minutes before eleven. She was greeted with a smile from Killian as he unlocked the door for her.

“I’m glad you decided to come,” he said.

“Did you think I wouldn’t?”

“Well, I’ve offered people jobs before, but they never accepted. I guess it’s because they’re too afraid to be associated with the industry. You know as well as I do how people around here tend to be.”

“Can’t argue with that.”

“So,” said Killian, “how did it go with Regina?”

“I’d rather not get into that right now. Sorry.”

“Don’t sweat it. You don’t have to tell me anything. I probably shouldn’t have asked. Anyway, have you thought about that article?”

"Yeah. I'm in."

“Great. I’ll tell August. In the meantime, why don’t we see this artistic flair of yours?”

“Are you being sarcastic?”

“What? No, I just meant—”

Emma laughed. _“Killian, relax. I was only joking.”_

Killian just shook his head. “Using my own tactics against me. How clever.” He handed her a sheet of paper and a pencil. “Let’s start with something simple. _Script.”_

“What do you want it to say?”

“That’s entirely up to you. I would suggest an Old English font, but you don’t have to do it that way. Be as random or as profane as you like— or do both. That works, too.”

Emma smiled. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“You can sit at my desk while you work. I’ll give August the go-ahead.”

“Alright.”

Killian went into the back to call August, leaving Emma alone in the main room to come up with a good script tattoo. She tapped the pencil against her chin as she brainstormed. She could only think of a handful of words at the moment.

_Hate._

_Pain._

_Fury._

She shook her head. That wouldn’t do. She needed to think of something else. Maybe something humorous. A lightbulb went off in her head, and she got to work.

Killian came back a few minutes later and found Emma sitting there with a wide smile, which in turn brought one to his face.

“Finished already?”

“Sure am. I decided to make it funny.”

“Funny is good. Let’s see.” Killian looked at the word on the paper and chuckled. _“Sandwich!_ Ha! Yes, I like that. I like that a lot.”

“Know anyone who’d get _sandwich_ across their knuckles?”

“Oh, I can think of a few.”

* * *

When August walked in, he found Killian and Emma exchanging ideas for tattoos. This brought a smile to his face.

“Hey, you two,” he said, “Are we ready to do the interview?”

Emma nodded. “Ready when you are.”

“Okay, just let me set up the recorder and we should be good to go.”

Soon, August was sitting across from Emma with the recorder running.

“I suppose I should start by asking what led to you being arrested in the first place.”

Emma sighed. “It was armed robbery.”

“Will you tell me how you got involved in something like that?”

“You see, I was going to college at the time.”

“SCC?”

Emma sat back, folding her arms. “Yeah. That’s where I met Neal Cassidy. I’d heard about him before, but this was the first time I’d actually seen him. He was only there to deal drugs and have people pay him to do their homework. I still don’t know how he kept that up. He rarely got any of the answers right. Looking back, I can see that his rebel attitude is what drew me to him. He didn’t care what people thought of him, and I can certainly respect that, but at the same time, he crossed the line one too many times. My parents warned me to stay away from him, but I wouldn’t listen. What can I say? I was twenty-one, practically still a kid, but with the unfortunate addition of liquor. My only excuse is that I didn’t know any better. A month after we met, we started dating, and two months later, I realized I was pregnant.”

“Did that scare you?”

“Oh, absolutely. I was terrified. I couldn’t afford an abortion, and I knew my folks would completely disown me if I so much as _suggested_ it. Things were rocky between us already. No point in making it worse.” Emma laughed, but there was no humor in it. “Look how _that_ turned out. Anyway, I needed things for the baby. Clothes, diapers, toys— all of that stuff. I didn’t have enough money for that either, but I was too scared to ask my parents for help. I knew it didn’t matter if I kept the baby or not. I’d still be screwed either way. It was one of Neal’s friends who suggested shoplifting, though I’m sure if he was here now, he’d take the credit. That’s just the kind of person he was, and maybe he still is, but I wouldn’t know.”

“You say you and your parents had a rocky relationship. Can I ask why?”

“No need to ask permission. That’s what this whole thing’s all about, right? Questions?”

“Well, yes, but I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable, or that I’m pressuring you in any way.”

A smile tugged at Emma’s lips. “That’s very kind of you. Where was I? Oh, right. Back in high school— God, that was such a long time ago— there was a new girl named Regina. I knew the moment I saw her that I wanted her. I heard rumors that she was into women, so I figured I had a chance. It took a while to muster up the courage, but one day I just asked her if she would go out with me. We were together for a while after that, but seeing how this is a small town, it didn’t take long for my parents to find out. They grounded me for months so that I couldn’t go out and see her after school. It didn’t matter that she was a good person, or that she was liked by just about everyone. All they cared about was that she was attracted to women, and since I felt the same way, they saw me as a degenerate. I finished high school and was immediately sent off to college. I suppose I’ve always been a disappointment.”

Emma let out a heavy sigh.

“Do you want to continue? I understand if this is too difficult.”

“I think I pretty much have to, at this point. I think this might help me heal,” Emma explained. She fiddled with her thumbs a bit. “So I tried to move on. I’ve had plenty of time to think about all this, and I can see now that getting with Neal was mostly just one big ‘fuck you’ to my parents. I know that’s probably super petty, but like I said, I was young. I was naïve. I thought Neal would take care of me. I thought he would stay with me so we could raise our kid together. If only it were that easy. Is it okay if I smoke in here?”

August looked to Killian, who just nodded. “Sure. Go ahead.”

Emma pulled out a lighter and a pack of Marlboros and took a long drag, feeling the burn of the smoke in her lungs before letting it back out into the open air.

“After Neal’s buddy mentioned shoplifting, Neal decided the best target would be one of those mom-and-pop stores on the other end of town. He and his friends chose this place called _Sweeney’s,_ and I was reluctant about the whole thing, but Neal pressured me into it. I can’t blame him completely. At the end of the day, I still went into that store. Neal put a gun in my hand. It shocked me. No one ever said anything about armed robbery. He and his buddies held up the cashier at gunpoint. It was never about getting stuff for the baby. It was always about money— and when they got caught, they all dragged me down with them.”

“The police never checked the security footage?”

Emma shook her head. “There wasn’t any. Sweeney’s didn’t make enough money to afford cameras. It’s ironic, holding up a store for what little cash they have in the register.” She took another puff of her cigarette. “Still don’t know why they chose that store, of all places. Whatever. I guess it doesn’t really matter at this point. Once I got to prison, I was assigned to a cell with a woman named Lily. She was cold towards me in the beginning, and I figured it might’ve had something to do with the fact that she was in for murder. Seventy years, I heard. Turns out she killed her boyfriend because he’d been abusing her. If you ask me, she did nothing wrong. The scumbag totally deserved it.”

“Did she tell you all this?”

“Most of it. The rest I heard from the other inmates. Lily was pretty hardcore. She told me as long as I kept away from her side of the cage, we wouldn’t have any trouble, but after a while, she became my friend— well, the closest thing to a friend one can make in the big house. She was older than me, though not much. She told me she’d tried to have kids before, but it never worked out, so she gave me a lot of advice. I guess she was looking out for me. When the time came for me to give birth, I was sent to the hospital in handcuffs— _not fun—_ and I had a son. I requested that my parents be the ones to take care of him. I didn’t know who else to turn to. They refused, so up until yesterday, I always thought he’d wound up in the system. Turns out Regina was the one who adopted him. You know what? Can you omit that part? I don’t think I want it in your article.”

“Are you sure?”

“I think it would be best.”

August just nodded. “Okay. I promise I will. So, what happened once you returned?”

“When I got back, Lily was gone, along with all her stuff— except for one thing: a note she’d left under my pillow. All it said was, ‘I’m sorry.’ Turns out she was transferred to Max. Apparently someone had pissed her off enough to warrant her shanking them. I heard lots of speculation, but never did find out what the other woman did. I knew Lily better than anyone in that hellhole. I know she was in for murder, but I also know she wasn’t one to get violent unless someone came at her first.”

“Did you ever see her again?”

Emma sighed. “No, but someday I will, once I can afford a car.”

“Did you get a new cellmate?”

“Yeah. Her name was Cruella. At least, she said it was, and that’s what everybody else called her. She was a legit psychopath. I genuinely feared for my life. I started sleeping with one eye open, and I never turned my back to her. She was like a lion, or maybe a rabid dog. That’s a better analogy, I think. I mean, she sicked her attack dogs on her own mother. Lily only got seventy years. Cruella was there all day and night.”

“I assume you mean for life?”

“Without the possibility of parole,” Emma clarified with a nod, “I’m convinced the only reason I’m still alive is because I did everything I possibly could to stay on her good side. She must have liked me, since she introduced me to her inner-circle. She and her friends, Mal and Ursula, were easily the most dangerous people in the whole joint. I guess that’s why everyone called them the _Queens of Darkness._ A little pretentious, I know, but even the guards were wary of them. Cruella was the one who first told me about Satanism— more importantly, _LaVeyan_ Satanism. It was her philosophy in life, and after a while, it became mine, too. That’s why I got this pentagram on my chest once I was out. I started giving people tattoos, and I even got a few of my own. They’re pretty bad, honestly, but I don’t think I’ll ever cover them up.” She laughed. “They’re like fucked up mementos.”

“Did Cruella ever threaten you?”

“Only once. That was when she was first moved to my cell. She held a shank to my throat while I was sleeping. It woke me up, obviously, not just from my sleep, but to the reality of prison life. She told me if I ever crossed her, she’d kill me without so much as batting an eye. I one-hundred-percent believed her, and I still do to this day. It wasn’t long after Cruella showed up that I got shanked— not by her, surprisingly enough, but by a woman named Anita. Apparently the woman Lily stabbed was a friend of Anita’s, and she was getting revenge by coming after me. Cruella didn’t take to kindly to this, since she started to like me at that point, and she may or may not have indirectly killed Anita while I was in recovery. I always suspected she was involved, but never could prove it. I knew that if I tried, she’d probably kill me, too.”

“Did anyone else try to kill you?”

“They wouldn’t dare. Not when I was under Cruella’s protection. It’s all super complicated. On one hand, she was threatening my life, but on the other, she was protecting it. She was really something. I suppose I should be thanking her. She made the rest of my time in there a hell of a lot easier. The years seemed to blur together. Before I knew it, I was out, and I didn’t have a clue what to do with myself. I started couch-surfing with some old acquaintances while I tried finding a decent job, but no one would hire me, so I did something I don’t think I’ll ever be proud of. I became a stripper. I guess the politically-correct term would be _exotic dancer,_ but I prefer to tell it like it is. Keep it simple, you know? I took my clothes off in front of perverts for money. _Lots of money._ That’s how I paid for all my tattoos and piercings. The other girls all had their nipples pierced, so I jumped on that bandwagon, too. Stung like a motherfucker. I guess the creeps there stopped liking me once I got all inked up, though, so I was fired. After that, I made my way back home, and now, here we are.”

Another long drag from her cigarette.

“You mind if I say a little more? This is becoming almost therapeutic.”

“Not at all. Say whatever you feel you need to.”

“Cool. So it’s like this….”


	3. The Letters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter.

Regina knocked at Ruby’s apartment door, waiting somewhat impatiently for the brunette to answer it. A few minutes passed before Ruby opened the door.

“Hey, Madame Mayor. What’s up?”

“Is Emma home?”

“Sorry, no. She’s, um, out shopping.”

Regina gave Ruby a pointed look. “Is that right?” She gestured to the window. “Because it looks to me like she’s peeking at me through the blinds.” She locked eyes with Emma, who panicked and ducked away quickly. “Emma, I know you’re in there! I just want to talk.”

Emma begrudgingly approached the door and stared Regina dead in the face. “Okay, let’s talk, then.”

“I’d like to go for a drive, Emma.”

“Now?”

“Of course, unless you’d rather go back to peeking out the window.”

Emma huffed. “Fine.”

She grabbed her jacket and pulled on her boots, bidding Ruby goodbye before climbing into Regina’s Mercedes. She sat there in silence, staring at the road ahead while Regina got in and started up the engine. A few moments went by, and Regina still hadn’t pulled away from the curb. Emma looked at the brunette in confusion.

“I thought you said we were going for a drive?”

“Not until you fasten your seatbelt.”

“What? I doubt that’s necessary.”

“Seatbelt, Emma.”

“Jesus,” Emma muttered, _“Fine.”_ She did as Regina instructed and folded her arms defiantly. “Can we go now? I’d like to get this over with.”

Regina took off down the road, turning right before responding. “I thought about what you said, Emma. I understand now. I understand why you don’t want him to call you his mother, but I’d like you to at least be in his life. It’s difficult being a single mother and juggling all my Mayoral duties at once.”

“So what, you want me to be his nanny?”

Regina frowned. “I want you to be his _friend,_ Emma,” she said, “and I was hoping you and I could pick up where we left off.”

“Really? You want to hook up, even after all that drivel about my tattoos?”

“I shouldn’t have said those things. My mother just had it drilled into my head that tattoos were something to be ashamed of.”

“She was also a massive homophobe, but I didn’t see you defending _that_ viewpoint.”

Regina let out a heavy sigh. “Let’s not talk about my mother. We’re here to talk about you— about us.”

“You still think there’s an ‘us?’”

“I’d like there to be. I’ve tried being with other women, Emma. I even tried getting with a man once— big mistake. Either way, the only person I want to spend my life with is you.”

“Is this a marriage proposal?”

“Heavens, no. It’s much too soon for that.”

“I think marriage as a whole is a sham. It’s just a way to cheat people out of money and it’s restricting as hell, just like prison— just like this lousy town.”

Regina pulled up to the curb outside the high school. “You never even bothered to contact me once we graduated. You were in college. We could have been together.”

“Around here? Unlikely.”

“Of course we could. Everyone knows Killian and August are an item.”

“And are they okay with that?”

“Well—”

“No. The answer is no. This is not the kind of town we belong in.”

“I can’t just leave, Emma. I’m the Mayor.”

“And when did this happen?”

“Four years ago. I ran against Mr. Gold.”

“The creepy pawnbroker?”

“The one and only.”

“Well, I’m glad people had enough sense to choose you. Too bad they don’t have enough to pull their heads outta their asses.”

“Things are different now, you know.”

“Are they really? Because it seems like I’m the only one who’s changed.”

“Maybe you’re the one who needs to pull your head out of your ass,” Regina said as she pulled back onto the street.

Emma huffed. “What is this, Regina? A drive down memory lane?”

“Precisely.”

Neither of them said another word until they reached the city park. Regina gazed fondly at the swings. Emma averted her eyes.

“Remember when we would come here and get ice cream?”

“Yup.”

“And the time we first kissed?”

“Totally.”

Regina looked over at Emma with sadness in her eyes. “Please, Emma, at least _try_ to understand why I’m doing all this.”

“Oh, I understand _exactly_ why you’re doing it. I just know it’s not gonna help me.”

Regina pursed her lips. “Alright. I suppose I should skip straight to _Plan B.”_

Emma cocked her head. “Plan B?”

* * *

“You want me to _what,_ now?”

Regina pointed to her office computer. “You heard me. I made copies of all the letters I sent you, which you didn’t bother answering. Go through every copy and read them aloud to me. Once you’ve done that, you’re going to write a response to all eighty-four of them— one for every month you were in prison.”

Emma stared up at the brunette in utter disbelief. “Eighty-four?! Are you fucking serious?!”

“As a heart attack.”

Emma folded her arms. “I can understand ten, maybe, but eighty- _fucking-_ four, Regina? You’re insane if you think I’m gonna do that!”

* * *

_“Dear Emma, I won’t pretend that what you did was okay, but I know you were pressured into it by the wrong kinds of people. I can’t understand why you never reached out to me while you were in college, but I hope things will be different now. Would you mind adding my name to the visitation list? I’d like to come visit you. Yours truly, Regina.”_

…

_“Dear Emma, I hope you’re doing well. I wish you would write me back. I’d like to come see you, but I’ve been far too busy with my Mayoral campaign. I’m up against that creepy pawnbroker, Mr. Gold. Still haven’t figured out his first name. I’m beginning to think he might not even have one. Anyway, I wanted you to know that Henry is living his best life. I just think it would be a little better with you here. If you’re reading this, I want you to know how much he adores you, and that I still love you. I always will, Emma Swan, even if you never take the time to write me back. Here’s to hoping that’ll change. Sincerely, Regina.”_

…

_“Dear Emma, this is the last letter I’ll be sending you. I’m hurt that you never once wrote back to me during these past seven years. Eighty-four letters I sent, and not a word from you. I’m not mad. Just disappointed. I’ll still be waiting for you back home, should you ever return. Will you at least call me before you show up? That’s all I’m asking, Emma. If not a letter, then just a phone call. You have my number. I’ve written it down for you time and time again. I’ll never stop being in love with you. Wishing you the best, Regina.”_

…

Emma’s hand was throbbing with intense pain. She and Regina had been here for almost four hours, and she was finally on the last letter.

_“Please,”_ she said through tears, _“Enough.”_

“That’s the last of them,” said Regina, “You may go now.”

“What? That’s it?”

Regina nodded. “That’s it.”

“What are you gonna do with all this?”

A soft smile tugged at Regina’s lips. “I’m going to stay up tonight and read every last one of them while I drink my favorite wine.”

* * *

Tears streaked Regina’s face as she read through the letters Emma had written.

_“Dear Regina, I know I fucked up, but I’m paying for my mistake now. I don’t want you on my visitation list because I can’t bear to let you see me like this. I’m not in the best headspace right now. I haven’t been since my parents found out about us. I’m sorry, Regina. I really am. I just can’t let you see the person I’ve become, because I know you’d probably turn your back on me like everybody else, and I couldn’t live with myself if that ever happened. Sincerely, Emma.”_

That was only the first. She still had eighty-three to go. This was going to be a long night.

* * *

Emma was on her way back to Ruby’s when she got a call from Killian.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Emma,” Killian sounded completely distraught, “I need you to meet me at the shop. _Now.”_

* * *

Emma stood next to Killian, utterly speechless. The tattoo parlor was gone. Burned to the ground. The firemen had extinguished the blaze, but there was no saving the parlor. Killian had tears welling in his eyes. Emma wanted to cry, but she’d done enough of that today.

The cops showed up and immediately looked to Emma as the prime suspect, but Killian had her back.

“She wouldn’t have done this. I know her. She’s a good person. Besides, she was with the Mayor all afternoon.”

“I’ll be sure to ask Mayor Mills about that,” said the Sheriff. He turned to Emma with a look of suspicion in his eyes. “In the meantime, I’m going to have to ask you not to leave town.”

“Don’t worry. I’ve got nowhere else to go.”

The police put up tape to keep people away while they conducted their investigation. Emma turned to Killian with a sigh.

“Is there any way I could get a copy of that recording from August?”

“Of course. Why don’t you stay at our place tonight?”

“I wouldn’t want to impose.”

“And you wouldn’t be. You’re welcome to come over anytime, day or night.”

“Thanks, Killian. You’re the best.”

Killian smiled. “So I’ve been told.”

* * *

It only took two days for the police to find the true culprit, a man by the name of Felix, who had been one of Emma’s high school bullies. Apparently he had been drinking excessively at the Rabbit Hole when he started bragging about burning down the parlor to, _“Teach those fags a lesson.”_ He was arrested and charged with arson, in addition to a hate crime, and public intoxication. For this, he was sentenced to four years in prison.

_“Isn’t that just awful?”_ Emma heard someone ask while eavesdropping in the diner one morning.

_“Yeah. I always thought that Felix was a good kid. Who’d have thought he could do something like this?”_

_“Reminds me of that Swan girl. She was such a sweetheart, but then she went and robbed Sweeney’s with those other thugs. Such a pity.”_

Having lost her appetite, Emma paid for her breakfast and left without a word. She made her way back to Ruby’s and when she got there, she found a vintage yellow Volkswagen sitting outside in the parking lot. She went inside and saw Ruby getting baked on the couch.

“Hey, Emma. Wanna get high?”

“Not now. Whose beetle is that outside?”

Ruby smiled brightly. “It’s yours.”

Emma blinked, befuddled. “Huh?”

Ruby tossed her a set of keys. “It’s yours, Emma. Killian and I bought it for you, and I had my friend Billy fix it up.”

“You’re kidding!”

“Nope. Wanna take her out for a spin?”

“Oh hell _yes.”_

* * *

The whole town looked on in curiosity and mild annoyance as an old yellow beetle came screeching through the streets, driven by a blonde with holes in her ears and an abundance of tattoos. Even Regina saw this as she was leaving her office to go have an early lunch. She wasn’t too thrilled about this at first, but smiled when she realized it was Emma behind the wheel and decided to let it go, _just this once._

When Emma pulled back into the parking lot outside the apartment, she looked at Ruby with an uncontrollable grin.

“Thank you, Ruby. I can’t possibly tell you how much this means to be.”

“You already have, Em.”

“How much did you two pay for this?”

“Don’t even think about trying to repay us. You’ve done that simply by being here. Despite what you might think, people here do love you, Emma.”

“I wish I could believe that.” Emma sighed. “There’s something I need to take care of.”

* * *

She didn’t feel safe here. Felix may have been locked up, but he wasn’t the only one spiteful enough to try and hurt people he felt were beneath him. He was a parasite, and the whole town was crawling with others just like him. She had already written her last four letters. She just needed to find the nerve to deliver them. With a deep breath and a trembling hand, she slipped one into Ruby’s mailbox.

_Dear Ruby,_

_I can’t possibly thank you enough for what you’ve done for me these past few days. If I had known you were planning on buying me a car, I would’ve done everything I could to stop you. I guess that’s why you didn’t tell me. That was clever. Seriously though, you and Killian are amazing. I’d try to give the car back, but I know you would never allow it. You’re a great friend, Ruby, letting me stay with you. Better yet, you’re a great smoking buddy. Keep blazing._

  
_I guess I should cut to the chase. I’ve realized I wasn’t entirely ready to come home. That’s why I’m gonna be going away for a while. Going off the grid, you know? Don’t think that I’m never coming back. I will, I promise. I just can’t say when, exactly. I hope you understand, and I want you to know that you’ll always be my greatest friend. That’s I’ve left you a little something in this envelope. A glass wolf. As long as you have it, you’ll have me, too. This isn’t goodbye, Ruby. I won’t stay gone forever._

_Sincerely,_   
_Emma Swan_

* * *

Emma stood outside her childhood home with tears in her eyes, staring up at the dark window she’d once spent endless hours looking out of. She sucked in a breath as she placed the envelope into the mailbox with only a moment of hesitation. The letter within it had only three words:

_I’m sorry._   
_— Emma._

* * *

When she arrived at Killian’s place, Emma walked with her head down in shame. She could see the blue glow of the TV through the living room window. Once again, she slid an envelope into the mailbox.

_Dear Killian,_

_I want you to know how much I appreciate all you’ve done for me. You, August and Ruby. I can’t thank you or Ruby enough for the car. I can’t tell you how much it means to me that you would give me a job. Tell August I’ll always be grateful for the copy of that recording. I hope his article is well-received. I look forward to seeing it in the papers. You’re probably wondering why I left this letter for you. I’m leaving town for a while. I don’t know when I’ll be back, but I promise I will._

_I thought I was ready to come home— to be free. Turns out this town is more restrictive than prison. I promise I won’t stay gone forever. I just need time. I don’t expect you to understand, or to forgive me, but there are things I need to take care of. Thanks for being my friend. When I come back, I promise I won’t be empty-handed. I’m going to do whatever it takes to repay you._

_Your friend,_

_Emma Swan_

* * *

And now, here she stood outside Regina’s house with tears streaking her face. She bit her lip, suddenly reluctant about this whole thing, but she knew it was for the best. She placed the envelope in the mail and turned away quickly, knowing that if she didn’t, she would never do what she was about to do. Climbing into her car, Emma drove off towards the edge of town, disappearing into the night.

* * *

Regina was completely and utterly speechless.

_Dear Regina,_

_I know you’re going to be upset, probably even angry, but I want you to know that me leaving town isn’t because of you or anything you did. I’m just not ready to be here right now. I came back too soon. I’m not ready to be in Henry’s life. It’s too painful. I hope you understand. I have to see an old friend and try to find my place in the world. I’ll be back eventually, don’t worry. I’m not a good person, Regina. I’m well-aware of that, and I’m sure you probably agree now that you’re reading this. Ruby said I had paid for my mistakes, but that’s not entirely true. I’m still paying for them, and I’m not talking about the robbery. I’ve included a USB containing a copy of the recording from the interview I did with August. I’d like you to listen to it. All of it. Maybe then you’ll know where I’m coming from, and how much you mean to me._

_Best wishes,_   
_Emma Swan_ __

With the black USB plugged into her laptop, Regina sat back and took a breath as Emma’s voice emanated from the speakers. She listened intently as Emma’s time in prison was described in heart-wrenching detail, but then came the last half of the recording.

_“So it’s like this,”_ came Emma’s voice, oddly calm, _“I never stopped loving Regina. She’s the reason I came back. I figured my parents wouldn’t want anything to do with me, and I was right. No surprise there. I thought it might be the same with Regina, but no. She still loves me. God only knows why. Just look at me. She’s right. I’m not the Emma she remembers, and as much as I keep telling myself that it isn’t painful, it’s fucking_ excruciating. _The day I got out, I changed back into my street clothes near the Warden’s office. He had the radio on, playing an old Talking Heads song, ‘This Must Be the Place.’ When I heard it, I broke down into tears. I’d been shanked, for Christ’s sake, and I didn’t shed a tear then. Yet that song— that damned song— made me wail like a baby. You know why? Because that was_ our _song. That was the first song I played for her when we started dating, and I heard it again today when Ruby was watching that_ Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. _show. Lucky for me, I got out of there as quick as I could and came straight here.”_

_“You still love her then?”_

_“Oh, absolutely. I never stopped. She’s literally the only reason I didn’t end it all. There wasn’t a single goddamn day that went by in that shithole where I didn’t think about stringing myself out in my cell. I stopped giving a fuck about Neal the second he put that gun in my hand. I never really loved him, and obviously, the feeling was mutual. Like I said, I only dated him to piss off my parents. To him, I was just a pretty face, and when the time came, he dragged me down with him. He was a mistake. Going into that store was a mistake. But the biggest mistake of all was letting my family keep me from seeing Regina. I’m doing the best I can to rectify it. I don’t know how long that’ll take, but I’ll keep it up even if I die trying.”_

* * *

Somewhere in Boston, a man heard a knock at his apartment door and assumed it was the delivery boy arriving with takeout. He got up and went to answer it, but when he did, he found himself staring into the cold green eyes of the woman he’d screwed over. His eyes widened in horror.

_“E-Emma?”_

She didn’t say a word. Her only response was to draw the gun she’d been concealing in one swift movement, place the barrel firmly against his forehead, and push him back into the apartment before slamming the door shut behind her.

There was a click, followed by the deafening sound of thunder, and then— _nothing._


End file.
